I know a lot of people who live in the poor decisions of their past. They regret how they acted in a certain situation and always think about, “If only I had done this differently.”
It hinders their growth. Often, they are afraid to make the next move in life, even if it would be the best thing for them. They are afraid to move up in their jobs, embark on a new creative project, go out on dates, get married, have children, move to a new city.
They are scared of following their dreams and accomplishing their goals because they have been burned in the past. They messed up. They messed up, and now they are forever stuck. They are punishing themselves 24-7.
In Judaism, we believe that someone who has done something wrong can always do teshuvah, or repent. You can always ask for forgiveness. You are not eternally stained and supposed to suffer for your wrongdoings or mistakes. Why? You don’t deserve that. You can be forgiven. You can forgive yourself. There is no such thing as a damaged human being.
Instead of kicking yourself for things you can’t control, make peace with the fact that you did them. Apologize to whomever you hurt. Examine why you acted a certain way. Pray. Go to therapy. Learn how you can prevent something negative from happening again in the future.
But don’t replay that nonsense from your past in your head over and over again. Get out of that terrible loop of guilt and into a more peaceful state. I promise you: you will flourish.
What do you do to keep moving forward? Let me know in the comments below.